What Ifs
by liz88zil
Summary: Every chapter is a oneshot 'what if' about Jam!  They could have been together so long ago!
1. Chapter 1

This is a series of What If pieces. Every chapter is a one shot, the first one is long, the rest probably won't be.

What would've happened if Jim had answered Pam's texts during Diwali?

Pam danced half heartedly to the traditional Indian music with a very nice young boy, who happened to be one of Kelly's distant cousins. She smiled at him and glanced over at the door. She gulped and became very hot suddenly as she noticed Roy enter the room. She nodded quickly at her dance partner and mumbled that she had to go, and quickly ducked out of Roy's view and headed into the hallway.

She leaned against the wall and pushed up her sleeves, trying to cool down. She felt herself breathing heavily, and she struggled to take deep breaths. She recognized this feeling immediately, as it was the same feeling she had when she called off her wedding. She tried to calm herself down, but she just felt so trapped all of a sudden. She didn't want to go see Roy, but she didn't want to go home to her empty apartment either.

She took out cell phone, thinking she was going to call her mom, but as she scrolled through her contacts, she wasn't able to get passed one individual. She brought up Jim's number and his picture popped up. She immediately felt herself ease a little. She remembered taking this picture of him. They had just finished pranking Dwight, and he swiveled towards her and gave her one of his famous Jim smirks, and she snapped the picture.

Her finger lingered over the keypad, and she decided to send him a text. After all, she was at an office function on a Friday night with Michael and Dwight. He would want to hear about this. She paused, thinking hard about what to write.

"Hey Jim, it's Pam…"

She deleted that, of course he knew who it was, it would come up with her number.

"Hey, you'll never guess where I am right now.."

She deleted once more, too long. What if he didn't respond?"

"Hey, I hope everything is good in Stamford. The office isn't nearly as fun. Give me a call or something if you want to talk. Pam"

It wasn't the message she expected to write, but it felt really satisfying. She quickly sent it before she would chicken out.

"Who are you texting?" Angela broke Pam's silence

Pam swallowed, feeling as though she'd been caught doing something embarrassing. "No one." She replied quietly. Pam tucked her hair behind her ears and went to look for her shoes.

Jim's head slumped on the desk. It felt like it weighed a ton. The room spun as he sat still. Andy's voice rang into his head, and seemed to cloud it even more.

"Ugh, Andy, no a capella." Karen sighed from behind Jim.

Jim agreed with her, but somehow found himself singing along with him anyways. He heard himself singing the Indigo Girls, and the small portion of his brain that was still capable of sober thought cursed him.

Karen rolled her eyes, but just went back to work.

Jim finished singing and allowed himself to fall back into a semi-conscious state. All of a sudden he was awoken by a soft sound and buzzing by his arm. He blinked his eyes a couple of time, but couldn't shake the cloudiness. He picked up his cell phone and flipped it open. He tried to focus on the screen, but it was almost too blurry to comprehend. Just as he was going to shut it, and vow to read it later, a name jumped out him. "Pam." He immediately sobered up a tinge and got to his feet.

"Halpert, where are you going?" asked Andy. "I need you for the two part harmony."

"Hall" Jim managed to mumble as he shuffled out the door.

He held the phone with two hands and commanded his brain to read the text.

"Hey, I hope everything is good in Stamford. The office isn't nearly as fun. Give me a call or something if you want to talk. Pam"

He made himself read it three more times, to make sure he wasn't just reading what he wanted it to say in his drunken state. When he was sure that it was real, he opened the phone and thought about what to text back.

He concentrated on the phone. All he wanted to do was be honest with her, to tell her that he still loved her and that everywhere he looked, he was reminded of her. When he rides the elevator he thinks of the time that they purposely pulled the emergency stop button and took a three hour lunch in there. Whenever he sees a stapler, he's reminded of the day they completely devoted to slowly putting staples in Dwight's hair, and the look on her face when Dwight finally noticed. He couldn't escape her, and it was complete agony, but it was the kind of pain he would never wish away. It was his torture and his treasure.

The alcohol flowing through him encouraged him to run with that honesty.

He slowly punched into his phone; "Pam, I really miss you. If you wanted me to come back I would. Everything I said to you on Casino Night is still true. I love you."

Jim sent the message happy with what it said. Or at least what he thought it said.

Pam's heart began to pound as she heard the familiar beeping that signaled a new text message. She eagerly opened her phone.

"Pm. H strly mgpp woi. Ow wih wankfde ac to tome qaci I guoud. Edfjkethy I ajfds jastias sjfituth tthawo. I lubb uou."

Pam tried to decipher the message again. Was it possible that he was using some sort of code? What was he trying to say? Was he drunk? She figured it must be the latter. She suddenly felt stupid for texting him. He was out, having a good time. She probably just ruined his night.

Jim waited for a text message back. He sat in the hall and pulled his knees to his chest and allowed the room to spin around him. After about 15 minutes he began to lose hope that she would respond.

"Hey stranger." Karen peaked her head around the corner. "How you feeling?"

"A little lost at the moment actually."

"Aw, why?"

"Well, I just…" Jim hesitated. "you know what, never mind."

Karen sat down next to him. "No, what is it?"

Jim shrugged. "I just sent a text message and was expecting some sort of reply."

"A drunken text message? Oh Halpert, are you 19? Let me see it," Karen said.

"Ok." Jim opened his phone and began to push buttons. "Um, I don't think its working. I can't really remember…" He mumbled.

Karen giggled, "Give the phone idiot."

Jim sighed "those are hurtful words Filipeli." He joked as he handed her the phone.

Karen searched his messages and laughed, "You really are an idiot." She flipped the phone towards Jim, "Look what you wrote!"

Jim focused his eyes on his text and his gibberish stared back at him. "wow. I am an idiot."

Karen smiled and patted his arm. "Who were you trying to text?"

Jim hesitated, "Just a friend. I just needed to tell them something."

Karen shrugged, "you can always tell them tomorrow right?"

Just then, Andy burst into the hallway, "you guys! Hurry, I'm changing the answering machine message! I need your harmonies!"

"Oh geez" Karen got to her feet. "I'm going to go take care of that." She walked back into the office.

Jim sat still for a minute in silence. "No." he spoke out loud. "I need to tell her now."

Pam walked outside and sat on the steps of the building. The night was cooling down quickly, but the cool air was helping her think more clearly. She was about to head back inside to collect her things, when her phone started to ring. Her heart sped up and she looked around her to make sure that nobody was around.

"Hello?" She answered cautiously

"Pam!"

"Hey Jim, how are you?" She asked, twisting a strand of hair in her fingers.

"Pam it's Jim!"

Pam laughed, "I know! How are you? It sounds like you're at a party or something."

"No, actually I'm still at the office."

"Oh. Wait, but…you're drunk."

"Only a little. Don't ask."

Pam giggled.

"I got your text. It was really good to hear from you…or read from you or whatever."

Pam laughed again, suddenly feeling completely at ease. "Yeah, um…I got your text too."

"Sorry about that. I meant for it to be real words."

There was an awkward pause where nobody spoke. After a minute, they both began at the same time.

"It's really good to hear your voice.." She began

"I miss you" He said.

They both laughed a little. Then Jim spoke up, "I kind of miss Scranton."

"Scranton misses you." Pam said. "Do you ever think about coming back?"

Jim paused, "sometimes. Mostly when I talk to you."

Pam smiled, "It's weird, it feels like I moved too. It just doesn't seem like home anymore."

"I should come home" Jim mumbled.

Pam was caught off guard at that. "What?"

"Go." Jim corrected, "I should go home."

"Oh." Pam said, "Yeah, I should go too. It was really good to hear from you Jim. I'll talk to you soon okay?"

"Yeah definitely. Bye Pam."

As Pam hung up the phone, her eyes began to tear involuntarily, but she also began to smile. This was the affect Jim had on her. It was so bittersweet. She loved talking to him, but now she wanted to see him, be with him. She dried her eyes quickly as she saw Michael approaching her.

"Hi Pam." Michael said softly

Pam immediately knew something was wrong if Michael was calling her by her real name, not Pamera, or Pamalama ding dong, or something equally obnoxious.

"Hi Michael. What's wrong?"

Michael sighed, "Carol said no."

Pam looked at the camera, "No to what.." she said fearing the worst.

"To my proposal!" Michael said as he began to cry.

Pam's eyes went wide and she sat down next to him. "It's okay Michael. You're probably just moving too fast for her.

"Oh Pam." Michael interjected, "Sometimes when it's right you just know it. Then it doesn't matter how fast you go."

Pam was quiet. "That's true. But is that really how you feel about Carol?"

Michael shrugged. "I don't know."

Michael looked at Pam for a minute. He slowly began to lean in.

Pam, who was lost in thought, only noticed Michael when he was inches from her face. "What are you doing?" She shrieked!

"What?" Michael asked innocently, "what are you doing?"

Pam looked at him, "I'm rejecting your kiss."

"Uh" Michael looked down and moved away from her, "ok. Can I have a ride home?"

Pam looked at the camera and gave a very Jim like shrug, "If you sit in the back."

Jim walked back into the office and began putting all his belongings in his messenger bag. He saw that Karen had already left, but he had to get home. He walked his bike out of the office as he mumbled a goodbye to Andy who was already snoring on his air mattress. Once he got outside, he got on his bike to ride home, but he immediately fell over. A voice broke through the air:

"Hey dummy! Get in the car!" Karen got out of her car and went to help Jim with his things.

"I'm a drunk driver" he mumbled

Karen smirked, "Yes you are. Do you want to sit in the back?"

Jim shook his head, "I'll be okay. I need to show you how to get to my home."

Karen laughed, "Okay. Climb in Halpert."

Jim got into the passenger seat next to her. "Thank you Karen. You're a good friend."

Karen winced a little at his deliberate use of the word 'friend'. "No problem."

They drove in silence, with the exception of the radio playing gently in the background. After about a half an hour Karen spoke up, "Geez Jim, how far away do you live?"

Jim, who had had his eyes closed, turned towards her and mumbled, "Scranton's far."

Karen looked at him, "Jim, you want me to take you to Scranton?"

Jim nodded, "I have to go home."

"Jim, you live here now. Why don't you let me take you to your apartment."

Jim shook his head, "I have to go see Pam."

"Who's Pam?" Karen asked

Jim smiled, unaware of how to answer such a simple question; "Pam is the Scranton branch receptionist."

"Oh-"

"but she's also…I don't know. Amazing I guess."

Karen was quiet for a minute, "Oh, were you guys like…dating?"

"No, she was engaged. But she's not anymore. I have to go talk to her."

"Wait" Karen said slowly. "Are you going to like…proclaim your love to her?"

Jim didn't say anything

"You seriously asked me to drive you almost 3 hours so that you can go tell another girl that you love her?"

Jim sat up, beginning to sober up, "I didn't ask you to drive me anywhere!"

Karen sighed, "Jim, I think I've made it pretty clear how I feel about you."

Jim swallowed

"Let's just put it out there" Karen continued, "I like you. I know it, and you know it and I think that it is kind of insensitive of you to make me drive you to another girl's house so you can tell her that you love her."

"Karen," Jim started slowly, apologetically. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you upset. I think you're amazing, and if I wasn't completely in love with Pam, you would be an awesome catch."

Karen blinked away tears and nodded.

Jim shook his head, "you know what? I am being insensitive. I'm sorry. You don't need to drive me to Scranton."

Karen looked over at him. "Do you want me to turn around?"

Jim shook his head, "no, I need to go. But just pull into the next rest stop, I'll call a cab."

"Jim, it's okay. You don't need to take a cab. You're drunk."

"Honestly, I'm not even that drunk anymore. I just need to go. It's okay. You should go back."

"Are you sure?" Karen asked, "If I hear that you're dead in a gutter somewhere, that will be on my conscious."

Jim smiled. "I am hereby relieving you from all guilt if I am dead by tomorrow morning."

Karen gave a weak smile. "Okay then." She pulled into a gas station and let Jim dial the cab station.

After a few minutes, Karen had to speak up. "Jim?"

"Yeah?"

"What is it about her?"

Jim smiled, "I honestly can't decide. She's got such a great sense of humor. She's vulnerable, but there's a strength in her that she doesn't really know about. She's got the most beautiful dreams. She has the innocence and curiosity of a child, with the guidance and wisdom of somebody much older." Jim's eyes wandered out the window. "She doesn't know what a good person she is, and she needs me to show her."

Karen let one tear spill out her before wiping it away quickly.

"Oh God, Karen I'm sorry. Maybe I am still a little drunk." Jim said as he patted her arm.

"No, it's okay. It's just really beautiful. I hope I get to be somebody's Pam one day."

Jim leaned over and hugged her. "You deserve to be." Just then a cab pulled into the parking lot. "That's for me. I've gotta go. Bye Karen. Thank you."

Karen nodded. "Bye Jim, good luck."

Jim got out of the car and walked towards the cab. Karen rolled down her window and called after him. "Hey Jim"

He turned and looked at her.

"Can you tell Pam I say 'hi'."

Jim gave her one of his famous looks.

She smiled weakly, "I know she doesn't know who I am, but I figure she's the kind of person I'd want to say hi to."

Jim smiled. "Absolutely I will."

Pam pulled into her driveway after she had dropped off Michael. She didn't know what it was about him, but whenever she spent one on one time with him, she just left feeling exhausted. She walked into her house and let her bags drop on the floor around her. She put her hair up into a messy bun and opened the fridge to find something to eat. There had been food at the Diwali celebration, but nothing really appealed to her. Out of habit she reached for a yogurt, but as she held it in her hands images of him flooded her memory. There he was putting a yogurt lid medal around her neck. He was walking up to her and telling her that the yogurt she was about to eat had expired.

Pam sighed deeply and thrust the yogurt back into the fridge more violently than she'd expected. Suddenly, she'd lost her appetite. She walked upstairs and put on her comfy pajamas. The ones that Roy hated, but Jim loved. He'd seen her in these pjs once, when she was sick. She climbed into bed, but regretted it immediately because she knew that now that she was in bed, there was no way she was getting up to turn off the lights or wash up. She let her eyes shut heavily and tried her best to will away her unsettled stomach.

Jim sat in the back of the cab, completely sober, and beginning to feel foolish for coming. It was late, after midnight. He was sure that Pam's house would be locked up and dark, with her sleeping soundly inside. Nonetheless he continued to give the driver directions to her new apartment, the address which he'd received from Kevin after he found out she hadn't married Roy.

As the cab pulled in to her driveway, Jim was surprised to see all the lights in her house on. If the lights are all on, she was probably still up, but he decided to call first anyways.

Pam awoke groggily to the sound of her cell phone ringing in the next room.

"I swear to God if that's Michael…" She mumbled as she rolled out of her bed. As she looked at her phone and saw who was calling, she immediately woke up.

"Hello?" She answered happily

"Hey" Jim's relaxed voice replied, "I didn't wake you up did I?"

"Totally!" Pam replied happily

Jim laughed, "What? I did? I'm sorry!"

Pam laughed to herself and shook her head out of embarrassment, "Oh I meant to say 'no', but 'totally' came out."

"Oh man, I'm sorry!" Jim said as he smiled broadly.

"No, it's okay! I'm glad you called"

Jim smiled and spoke a little more slowly as he rang her doorbell. "I saw the lights on and figured you were up."

Pam, distracted by the doorbell, barely heard him. "Hold on Jim, somebody's at my door." As she was walking towards the door it slowly dawned on her. "Wait, you saw my lights on? Are you-" As Pam walked down the stairs, she saw Jim standing at her front door, with a classic grin on his face.

Pam's eyes grew wide and she closed her cell phone as she opened the door. She stood in stunned silence as Jim said, "Hey Beesley, you just hung up on me!"

Before he could say anything else Pam reached out, grabbed his collar, and pulled him down to her in a passionate kiss.

Jim was shocked, but it didn't take him long to melt into Pam and embrace her. He cupped her face with his hands, and then slowly moved his arms to around her back. When they finally broke apart he lifted her in the air and laughed. "That's what I consider a warm welcome!"

Pam laughed, still lifted by Jim's strong arms. "I figured it was my turn to do that."

Pam ushered Jim into her apartment. She stood a few feet away from him, suddenly aware she was in her pajamas. "So.,." she started

"So.." he repeated, "What am I doing here?"

Pam shrugged, "I mean, you're always welcome, but…yeah."

"I don't know. I just felt like I needed to see you. I mean, after talking to you on the phone, I just wanted to go home, but I don't have a home in Stamford. You're my home Pam."

Pam looked serious for a minute. "Jim I'm so sorry, I should never have been with Roy. He isn't good for me." She let out a breath, the weight of all the words she'd been keeping inside her flowing out easily now. "You have no idea how much I missed you! I wanted to talk to you everyday. You're my best friend!"

Jim took her hands, and led her into a hug. "Pam it's ok now. We're here together now, let's just focus on that."

Pam smiled and buried her face in his shoulder. She felt so safe when she was with him.

"So" Jim said, still holding Pam in an embrace, "How was your day?"

"Eh." Pam said, looking up into Jim's face. "Pretty good, Michael proposed to Carol, and then tried to kiss me."

"Wait, what??" Jim asked separating from her.

Pam laughed, "Oh Jim, there's so much to tell you!"

Jim smiled and led her over to the couch where they sat facing each other, and talked the entire night through.


	2. Chapter 2

What if Jim caught Pam crying instead of Dwight in "Back from Vacation"?

Pam climbed up the warehouse stairs two at a time. She had to get out of there. She felt the dreadful sensation of her throat tightening and deep racking breaths that preceded every good cry. She got into the hallway and sat down on a bench and put her head in her hands. She didn't really know what triggered her breakdown. Maybe it was Karen thanking her for talking to Jim. As if Pam was really trying to help Karen out. She was just looking out for Jim. He was her friend, her best friend, and she wanted to help make him happy. Well, if she wanted to be honest with herself, she didn't want to help make Jim happy, she wanted to be the person who actually was making him happy. She wanted to feel like she did last year, when Jim would be having an awful day, and then she would go talk to him, and he'd cheer up. Making Jim happy made her happy.

She felt tears pricking her eyelids and she did her best to contain them, but after a few minutes, it became too much and she let them spill over. She'd never felt so lost before. She just wanted to understand what she wanted. She quickly wiped away her tears as she heard footsteps approaching.

"Pam?" Jim's familiar voice called

Pam cursed herself for crying, and swallowed to stop the tears.

"Oh there you are!" Jim said cheerfully, but then he noticed her tear stained cheeks. "Are you crying?"

Pam smiled half heartedly and shook her head, "No, I'm fine."

Jim gave her a skeptical look, "Pam."

"No, it's really nothing!"

Jim was quiet for a minute, "Pam, it's me." He looked into her eyes, and quoted her from when she jinxed him. "You can tell me anything." He smiled warmly at her.

At his comforting voice, she couldn't help but let her face crumple and a stream of tears escaped.

Jim sat down next to her and put his arm around her shoulders, "What is it?" Concern dripping from his voice, "Did something happen? Is it your mom?"

Pam shook her head, "No," she sniffled, "It's – it's" Pam thought for a minute, "It really is nothing, I'm just being stupid."

"Pam, something is obviously going on, and you're my friend. I want to know what it is." Jim's voice grew a little louder. He just wanted her to tell him what it was. He hated to see her in pain.

Pam shook Jim's arm away. "Jim, I can't do this." She was almost yelling now, "I can't tell you. Believe me, I want to. Can you please just let it go and go back downstairs?" She swallowed. "I'm sure Karen's looking for you anyways."

Jim, taken aback by Pam's outburst stood up. He nodded solemnly, "Ok."

Pam put her head back into her hands as Jim walked away from her.

Jim stopped walking with his back turned to her. He stood still for a minute, unsure if she really wanted him to go. Figuring he had not much to lose he broke the silence. "Pam?" he asked, turning towards her.

She was quiet for a moment. "Yeah?" she asked quietly.

Jim swallowed, "Do you have feelings for me?"

Pam sat up. She and Jim stared at each other wordlessly. Slowly, she nodded. She let tears run down her face as she continued to stare at him.

Jim nodded slightly, hands in his pockets. "Ok then." He said simply.

Pam continued to look at him, unsure of what just happened. As the silence continued, she felt she had to say something. "Jim, this doesn't need to change anything. I just-" she looked away, and then back at him, "I could never lie to you."

Jim gave one of his classic half smiles. "This changes things." He walked over to Pam quickly and turned her face upwards to him.

Pam stood up to meet him.

"This changes everything." He said softly, and he leaned down and kissed her passionately on the mouth.


	3. Chapter 3

What if Jim never took back the letter in "The Christmas Party"

"Well," Jim started as he leaned casually over the reception desk, "either way, this is an amazing gift because it comes with bonus gifts."

Pam looked confused as she stared at the mint green teapot.

Jim smiled, "open it."

Pam began to smile as she took the lid off the teapot. Her eyes lit up when she saw what was inside, "The yearbook picture!" She squealed. She silently thanked herself for trading with Dwight. No Ipod could make her this happy.

Jim reached around her and subtly slid the envelope into his hand, but not quite subtle enough.

"Hey," Pam said quickly, "What are you doing?" staring at the envelope that he was taking out of her present.

"Oh" Jim said slowly, "Nothing it's just uh.." he trailed off.

"Isn't that for me?" She asked

Jim swallowed, "Oh no, it got mixed up with these things."

Pam stared at him with a confused smile on her face, "But, it has my name on it."

Jim looked down at the envelope, sure enough, 'Pam' was on there, underlined twice.

"Halpert, you can't take back part of the present!" Pam smiled, "Now hand it over"

Jim sighed and smiled sheepishly. He held out the envelope to her.

Pam giggled as she took it from him; she looked up at him, who was smiling sincerely at her.

She ripped it open to find a hand written letter addressed to her. "Ooh, a letter! I love letters!"

"Yeah, Pam-" Jim made one more attempt to stop her from reading it.

"Shh shh." Pam held up a finger to quiet him so she could read it.

_Dear Pam,_

_Merry Christmas! I hope you like all your gifts, I really hope you remember all the jokes, otherwise it would seem a little weird._

Pam looked up at Jim, "Of course I remember all the jokes!"

Jim gave a half smile and nodded.

She looked back down at the letter to continue.

_They say that Christmas is the time to tell people how you feel, so here it goes. I think you're amazing. I can't imagine working here without you, you're my best friend._

Pam smiled to herself and felt tears welling in her eyes.

_Never in my life have I known somebody who knows me the way you do. I love you._

After reading this line Pam swallowed. She looked up at Jim, expecting, half wanting, to see a smile on his face and hear him say, "Gotcha Pam." When she looked at him, he stared back at her solemnly. They locked eyes for a minute, and then she broke the connection and went back to the letter.

_So, I guess you finally know the truth. I love you. I am in love with you. I know that you're engaged and the timing is probably terrible, but I just needed you to know. _

_Jim _

Pam felt her heart beating through her sweater. She swallowed nervously, still staring at the letter. She couldn't bring herself to look at Jim. His face wouldn't be the same anymore. It wouldn't be the smiling, friendly face she looked at everyday while she was working. It wouldn't be the laughing face she was used to when they successfully pranked Dwight. It would be that other face. That face of a solemn connection between them that always made her feel like she was cheating on Roy. She saw that face at the Dundies, she saw it when they had dinner together on the roof, and she knew she would see it if she dared to look up. Jim's voice cut through her thoughts:

"Pam, listen-"

At his voice, Pam had to get out of the office, she couldn't be with him right now, not in front of everybody, in the middle of a party. She stood up from her chair, "I've got to go" she said quickly as walked around her desk and out of the office.

Jim stood, still leaning on her desk. He watched her walk out of the office. He debated immediately running after her, but decided against it. He had no idea what he would say to her. It would be easy to take it back. He could tell her that he didn't really mean it, he was drunk when he wrote it, or that nothing had to change. He could say that all he wanted was to be her friend. But, Jim couldn't make himself say those things. The truth was, he loved having her as a friend, but he didn't know how much longer he could take just being friends with her. Every day they spent together he loved her more. Everyday, he was a little more convinced that they were meant to be, and everyday it was a little bit harder to watch her go home to somebody else.

He finally decided he had to go to her. Above all else, he needed to know that she was ok. He walked out of the office, down the hall. He didn't see her, so he turned the corner. He found her sitting on the floor, hugging her knees to her chest, her head resting on her knees. "Pam?" he asked softly.

Pam turned her head to look at him. She didn't say anything, she just continued to look at him.

He walked over to her. "Can I sit down?"

Pam nodded and Jim slid down the wall next to her. He spoke again, "I'm really sorry if I hurt you. I just wanted you to know the truth."

Pam was quiet for a minute. "You didn't hurt me." She said softly. "It was really nice to read, it's just that, I'm…engaged."

Jim's face fell slightly at that. "I know, but-"

Pam shook her head, "No Jim. That's it. There are no 'buts' involved. I'm engaged, that's all there is to it."

Jim sighed, "But Pam-"

Pam cut him off again, "Please be careful Jim. Watch what you're going to say. I'm worried that if we say much more we won't be able to be friends anymore, and I need you as my friend. You're my best friend, and I need you in my life. But," she said, looking at him in the face, "I'm engaged."

Jim, who was frustrated at this point, couldn't help himself from bursting out, "But he's wrong for you!"

Pam was taken aback by his outburst. Her shock soon turned to anger, "How dare you say that!" She shook her head while she collected her thoughts, "You don't even know him. You're my friend, you're supposed to support me! Don't judge him without even knowing him!" Pam scooched away from him, still angry.

"You're right Pam, I don't know him. But I do know you. In fact, I bet I know you better than he does. I know that you're amazing and funny and smart, and I also know that you don't what a good person you are, and that's why he doesn't deserve you. The person that ends up with you needs to make sure that you know how amazing you are!"

Pam started to cry at this point, "Jim, please stop." She was begging him now. "I can't do this. I don't want to do this."

Jim had to restrain himself from comforting her. He wanted to wrap his arms around her and rock her back and forth and whisper that everything was going to be fine, but he didn't. He knew that he couldn't. They both deserved the truth.

"Pam. Let me ask you a question."

Pam didn't say anything. She wiped her eyes, and stopped crying.

"Think about your life. Picture your future. Your house, your family, your job. You're finally happy right? Now, who's standing there with you? Is it Roy?"

Pam started crying again and didn't answer.

"Who is it Pam?"

Pam turned quickly to look at Jim, tears running down her face. She stood up quickly, and he followed suit. "Stop it! Stop it Jim! You have no right to do this! You don't get to make me cry and ask me these questions!" She yelled

Jim was yelling back, "I'm sorry Pam, but somebody's got to ask you! You refuse to ask yourself because you don't want to admit the answer!"

Pam shook her head, tears flowing down her face. She turned away from him and began to walk down the hall.

"Pam," Jim started. She didn't turn around, "Pam!" She shouted louder

She whipped around, "What?"

He walked over to her swiftly and pulled her into him. He took her head in his hands and kissed her passionately. After her initial shock she responded to him. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and his hands traveled to cradle her waist. They broke apart after a minute. He was smiling, and he took her hands in his. "Pam," he spoke softly now, almost in a whisper. "Look at me."

She looked him in the face, her cheeks still stained with tears.

"Who is it Pam?" he asked gently, as if talking to a child.

Her face crumpled, "You Jim. Of course it's you. How could it not be?"

For the first time since he went to her, she smiled.

He brought her in to him again into a tight hug. He stroked her hair to comfort her, and pulled a lock to his nose and smelled it.

Pam pulled away from him a little, "Did you just smell my hair?" she asked, a grin forming across her face.

Jim smiled sheepishly. "I've always been curious."

Pam giggled. "You really do love me."

Jim nodded.

"That's good." Pam said, settling back into his embrace. "I love you too."

Okay, that was a little more dramatic than I intended, but I still liked it. Please Review!


	4. Chapter 4

What if Pam told Karen the truth in "Ben Franklin"?

Karen and Pam stood in the kitchen, taking a much needed break from Phyllis's bachelorette party. They'd been joking together, neither woman would have thought they would become friends. Karen took this opportunity and new found friendship to clear the air about some of her worries.

"Hey, I wanted to talk to you. I know this is weird or whatever, but Jim told me about you guys."

"What do you mean?" Pam asked, unintentionally tightening at the sound of Jim's name.

"Well, that you kissed." Karen's eyes darkened slightly, reacting to Pam's rigid body language. "And, we talked it through, it's totally not a big deal, it's just a kiss." Karen swallowed and nodded, reassuring herself, more than Pam. She looked at Pam, who stared back blankly. "Wait, you're not, still interested in him.."

"Oh yeah." Pam responded immediately, not thinking the question through.

"Really?" Karen asked surprised, taking a step away from Pam.

"Oh no!" Pam replied, hearing Karen's shock. "I was confused by your phrasing." Pam looked towards the floor, slightly embarrassed.

Karen looked at Pam for a minute. "Okay," she said slowly. "If you're sure…"

Pam met Karen's eyes again, "Yeah, I'm sure" she responded quietly.

As Karen turned to leave Pam spoke up again. "Why? Did he say something about me?"

Karen didn't move, still turned away from Pam. The camera zoomed into her face, showing a half smile on her lips. She actually would have believed Pam if it weren't for that question. She turned toward Pam again. Pam stood there, chewing on her lower lip, fidgeting her hands, anxiously awaiting an answer.

Karen spoke first, "Well, that doesn't really matter right? I mean, if you don't have feelings for him, it shouldn't matter."

Pam nodded slightly, "Yeah. I guess that's true." She agreed softly.

Karen turned to go again, willing to leave things like this, but once again Pam's voice stopped her. "Karen?"

Karen turned around, and the two women made silent eye contact for a few seconds.

"Did he say something about me?" Pam asked once again, not breaking eye contact this time.

By repeating the question, both women were keenly aware of what Pam was truly saying.

Karen, impressed but hurt by Pam's honesty, had no problem making her wait a few seconds for an answer. "That was really hard for you wasn't it?'

"Yeah" Pam responded, "I guess it was."

Pam looked at Karen expectantly.

Karen finally let it go, "He still has feelings for you. I asked him straight up, and he told me at Oscar's welcome back party." Karen shook her head, "He's not really one of those guys who tells you just what you want to hear."

Pam smiled to herself, thinking back to casino night when she pleaded with him to hold back the truth, and the time he confronted her about the art classes, even though he hurt her a little. "No, he's not." She spoke more to herself than to Karen.

At that moment, Jim walked back into the office. He stopped at his desk for something, and looked into the conference room. He smirked as he saw Benjamin Franklin entertaining the women. Seeing that Pam and Karen were both missing, he walked towards the kitchen to find them. He opened the door, and awkward silence answered him.

"Hey," he said to both of them. "What are you doing in here, you're clearly missing the party!"

Karen and Pam both smiled at him.

"Yeah, I take it we have you to thank for the 'entertainment'?" Pam asked, still grinning at him.

Jim looked shocked, "Who me? Beesly, I can't believe you think I would go out of my way to ruin Phylis's party!"

Pam laughed, "who said anything about being ruined? It just so happens I think Ben Franklin is extremely sexy."

Jim, lost for words, just grinned back and shrugged. "Whatever floats your boat."

Pam looked over at Karen, who was not smiling. Pam immediately got more serious. "So, how's the party in the warehouse?" She asked

"It is.." Jim paused, not knowing the words to describe it, "well, I guess it is exactly what you'd expect."

Pam rolled her eyes, "Oh geez."

"Yep." Jim agreed. "So anyways, what are you guys talking about?"

Pam looked at Karen, "Oh you know…just,-"

Karen interrupted her, "You."

Pam stared at her, silently.

Jim, was taken aback. "Oh-"

Karen broke in again, "You see, it's kind of frustrating being in a relationship with a guy who wants to be somewhere else."

Jim swallowed, "Karen, I don't think that now is a good time-"

"I agree," Karen said, "But when will a good time be? You guys obviously want to be together, and I don't want to be secretly thought of as an obstacle."

Jim and Pam both looked slightly ashamed, as if they were teenagers being yelled at by their parents.

Karen shook her head, "I'm not mad at either one of you. Well," she corrected herself, "I'm not mad at Pam." Karen looked at Jim, who fixated on a spider crawling up the wall. "I'm a little mad at Jim, who allowed me to follow him here, while the entire time being in love with somebody else." Karen rounded on Pam, "And you. Well, I guess I just feel sorry for you. I mean, it must be really time consuming to say everything you don't."

Karen stepped away from them, and sighed deeply. For the first time, Jim and Pam dared to look at each other. Pam broke the eye contact as she heard Karen heave a big sigh. She was ready to go comfort her if she started crying. She didn't dislike Karen, and even now, she wasn't really being a bitch, she was just telling the truth. Pam was tired of not saying how she felt. But, as Pam was starting to go to her, Karen began to laugh. She turned back to the two of them, smiling, tears shining in her eyes. "I'm sorry." She said.

Jim looked at her, with a classic Jim smirk on his face. Pam just looked confused.

"I was just imagining how ridiculous this whole situation is. I mean, you two are more Sam and Diane than Sam and Diane were! I mean, everybody can see you guys should be together." Karen walked over to the camera guy, "couldn't you see it?" The camera slowly moved up and down.

Karen rolled her eyes and sighed. "Okay. That's all I've got. I'm done. I'm sorry if I seem crazy, it's just that everything seemed so clear."

The room became quiet once again.

"Karen, I'm really sorry." Jim started.

"Jim," Karen put up her hands, "Why don't you talk to her first," She said, nodding towards Pam. "I'm going to go back to the party." Karen walked out of the room.

Jim and Pam were left alone in the kitchen, standing side by side.

"Yikes."

"Yeah.." Pam said, as she hoisted herself up to sit on the counter.

"Listen Pam, I'm totally cool with being your friend." Jim said quietly, trying to maintain Karen's damage. "I don't really know what she was talking about."

"Jim." Pam said quietly, "Karen told me you had feelings for me. She said you told her."

Jim swallowed, "I mean, yeah. I did. But, you knew that. I had feelings for you, everybody knew that."

Pam smiled, "But she told me you said so at Oscar's party…last week."

Jim had no idea how to cover this one up. "Oh."

"It's okay." Pam said, as she put her hand on Jim's. "I told her I had feelings for you like.." she looked at her watch, "seven minutes ago."

Jim looked at her. "You did?"

Pam nodded, biting her lower lip.

Jim moved to stand in front of her. He took her hands in his and looked her in the eyes. "Let me just ask you this." He paused and swallowed, "Are we really Sam and Diane?"

Pam broke into a grin, "I think we might be.." She laughed and moved forehead so it was resting against his.

Jim sighed, but was grinning broadly, "The sad part is, I'm totally okay with that." He leaned in and kissed Pam gently on the lips.


	5. Chapter 5

What if Ryan never interrupted Jim and Pam's conversation in "The Initiation"?

Pam nestled into her office chair, finding it much more comfortable than usual. It felt so good to be talking to Jim; so natural. His voice cut through her thoughts.

"No way. How do you confuse "28 Days" with "28 Days Later"?"

Pam smiled and got defensive, "Because I got it at Blockbuster and they don't put the pictures on the box!"

Jim smiled as he rocked back in his desk chair. His feet were up, he was feeling the most relaxed and happy he had since arriving in Stamford. "No." he told her, a broad smile plastered on his face, "you're making this up!"

"Would I make that up?" Pam challenged

"Yes!" Jim countered, "Fancy new Beesley would make that up. New apartment, new stories.."

Pam grinned and rolled her eyes as she cut him off, "Oh yeah, my fancy new apartment. I have one bedroom, one bathroom, and a closet."

"And how many kitchens?" Jim asked

"I have one kitchen."

"Wow" Jim said as he was laughing, "You totally got taken for a ride Beesely! Most apartments today have like three kitchens"

Pam laughed, "What can I say, I like my tiny apartment."

Jim chuckled, "Well that's all you need then."

"Yeah," Pam agreed, "It's weird, I know it's small, but it still feels too big just for me."

Jim nodded, "Maybe, it's not just for you. Maybe you have like a serial killer that lives in your closet!" Jim added helpfully.

"Hey!" Pam exclaimed with a smile, "That's not funny! I just told you how scared I was watching that movie! I don't need to be afraid of zombies AND serial killers!"

Jim laughed, "That's true. I apologize."

"Oh!" Pam exclaimed, changing the subject, "I forgot to tell you, Michael let Dwight upgrade the security here."

Jim rolled his eyes. "Oh God. Is anybody injured?"

Pam laughed, "Only Michael. You see Dwight password protected every room of the office. But then Michael forgot the password to his office, so he tried to break down the door."

"That is amazing." Jim said, wishing suddenly he was in Scranton.

"Yeah, it was a good day, we got to go home early in exchange for nobody telling corporate."

Jim shook his head, "wow, injuries, bribes, it sounds like Michael has really uped his game."

Pam laughed, "No, it's okay. Believe me, the office has gotten much worse since you left. I'm so bored without you here!" It had come to her lightly, but as she said it, she realized the weight of her words.

Jim was silent for a few seconds. "Yeah," he said quietly, "I know what you mean. I actually kind of miss the shenanigans."

Pam laughed, both upset and relieved that he'd brought the conversation back to its original lightness. "So, how are things in Stamford?"

"Well, on the upside, I finally know what it's like to have a competent boss, but on the downside my boss is really boring."

Pam smiled, "Catch 22 I guess."

"Yeah."

"What about…other people?" She twirled the phone cord in her fingers. She wasn't sure she should have asked the question considering she didn't really want to know about Jim's new and exciting friends.

"Oh, you know." He said casually, "They're okay. The people in the office are okay. This branch has a Dwight though."

"Shut up!" Pam exclaimed.

"Yeah, his name's Andy. He's not really like Dwight, he's just…I don't know, its hard to explain."

Pam bit her lower lip, "Try." She said softly, not wanting to hang up the phone.

Jim laughed, "He's um, cheerful, and intense, and in an a cappella group."

Pam burst out laughing, "oh geez. He's THAT guy. Everybody knows THAT guy."

"Well put Beesely."

"So anybody else?"

"Well, Andy and this girl Karen are the two people that I really work with everyday. Karen's pretty cool. But…" Jim trailed off.

"But what?" Pam asked

Jim shook his head, "Nothing, it's okay."

"Jim, c'mon. You can tell me."

Jim smiled, "Well, I don't know. It's just that, well, it's pretty clear that she likes me."

Pam didn't get what he meant, "Jim, that's good, everybody likes you!"

Jim laughed and Pam got what he meant. "Oh," she said sheepishly. "You mean LIKE like."

Jim smiled, "well, no. In the sixth grade I would have meant LIKE like.."

Pam laughed, "Shut up, you know what I mean!" Pam felt the color rising in her cheeks, "You're not into her?"

Jim hesitated, unsure if he even wanted to be having this conversation with Pam. "I mean, she's a really nice person. She's funny and cool, it's just that…I don't know. I'm definitely not looking for anything like that right now."

Pam nodded silently, aware that he was still hurt by her. "Hey Jim?" she asked quietly, vulnerably.

"Yeah?"

"I'm really sorry about everything."

Jim smiled and sat up in his chair. "You don't have to apologize. It wasn't your fault, we both know you can't help the way you feel, or in your case don't feel."

"Yeah," Pam agreed, "But still, if I had thought for even a second that you would move away from Scranton…" it was her turn to trail off.

"Would something have changed?" Jim asked

"I honestly don't know." Pam responded. "But," she swallowed, "I really miss you."

"I miss you too." Jim said. "Can I ask you a question?"

Pam nodded, and said, "sure."

"Why did you call off your wedding?"

"Oh." Pam started. "Well, there were a lot of reasons, you know, I just didn't feel like, it just didn't seem…" she floundered

"Oh. Okay." Said Jim, forlorn.

Pam shook her head. "Jim?"

"Yeah?"

"I lied. I called it off because of you."

Jim couldn't respond, he didn't know what to say, so Pam continued, "I just, knew that Roy couldn't be it for me. Not if you were an option too. I guess that's what I'm sorry about. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize what I should have the first day I met you."

Jim's heart caught in his chest. He'd been dreaming to hear Pam say this for years now, and he felt like an idiot, that here she was actually saying it, and he couldn't even respond.

Pam swallowed when Jim didn't respond, "I mean, I totally get it if you've moved on. I just thought that if you could tell me the truth last year, the least I could do is tell you the truth now."

Jim finally was able to find words. "Pam, what if casino night happened again now. What would you do?"

"I wouldn't pull away from you this time." Pam said, almost whispering, almost crying.

"Can I come see you tonight?" Jim asked cautiously

This threw Pam off, "What? It's like a three hour drive! It'd be crazy to drive here and back!"

"What if I didn't go back?" Jim asked

Pam's heart skipped a beat, and she chewed on her bottom lip, "That would be perfect."


	6. Chapter 6

What if Jim told Pam how he felt on the Booze Cruise?

Jim looked bravely at the camera, "You know what? I would save the receptionist. I just wanted to clear that up."

He walked determinedly over to Pam. He didn't exactly know what he was going to say to her, but his silence was becoming too loud for him to bear.

He approached her and bent down slightly to speak quietly. "Pam, can I talk to you for a minute?"

Pam stared back at him and nodded immediately, realizing by his unusually serious face. As she stood up, Jim ushered her first, gently grazing the small of her back. His touch sent a warm tingle up her back, but she shook the feeling away with a shake of her head and scolded herself silently for noticing.

They walked out on the deck, and Pam instinctively wrapped her coat tighter around her. They unconsciously stopped and stood at the same place where they talked, or rather didn't talk, earlier that night. When that fateful silence began again, eager to avoid similar awkwardness, Pam spoke up. "So, what's up?"

Jim stared at her for a moment, it suddenly dawned on him that he had no idea how to put his feelings into words. He smiled at her, and opened his mouth, but no words came out.

Pam raised her eyebrows expectantly and giggled.

Pam's smile gave Jim a sudden surge of courage, "I don't really know how to say this, and it's probably not great timing seeing as we're on a boat, well I guess one could argue that it's the best time since we can't escape, but-"

"Jim!" Pam cut in, "You're rambling. You never ramble!"

Jim shrugged, "I do sometimes, when I'm really nervous."

Pam looked quizzically at him, "Nervous?"

Jim nodded slightly, "It's just that, well, I'm…I'm sort of in love with you. Well, not sort of, I am in love with you Pam. I love you."

The smile on Pam's face disappeared slowly. She looked up at Jim, and then turned away and looked out on the lake. She looked back at Jim, "What?" She asked, genuinely confused.

"I know we're friends, and I love being friends with you, but it's always been a little more for me. It's been a friendship with the gentle tug of longing attached to it. I've wanted to be with you since the very first day I met you."

Pam didn't look any less confused, "Jim, what are you doing?"

For the first time, Jim took his eyes off of her he looked at his shoes, feeling a little embarrassed. "I just needed you to know the truth, because I don't think I can keep it inside anymore."

Pam nodded slightly, "It's just that, Roy…" Pam trailed off, not really knowing what to say about Roy. "What about Katie?"

Jim shrugged, "She's a really nice girl." He looked earnestly at her, "A really nice distraction."

A quick shot of relief flooded Pam's head. She knew that Katie wasn't 'the one' for Jim, but it was still nice to hear it out of his own mouth. For the second time that night, she scolded herself for letting Jim creep into her thoughts. Pam nodded and Jim, and bit her lip.

"Jim," She started slowly, apologetically, "You have no idea…"

"Don't do that." Jim said, cutting her off, "I don't want to do that."

Pam ignored him and continued anyways, "What your friendship means to me."

Jim's eyes darkened slightly with hurt, "I want to be more than that."

Pam's eyes welled, "I can't."

Jim nodded. He understood, he was crushed, but he understood. "Okay. I just needed you to know." He leaned into Pam and kissed her gently on her cheek.

It was a sad and tender gesture that spoke alarmingly of goodbye. Pam pulled Jim into a tight hug. She closed her eyes into shoulder, letting herself get lost in her friend. Jim embraced her and took in everything about her. He felt a calmness wash over him as he held the one he loved, but that feeling soon disappeared as he realized this was the closest he was going to get to being with Pam.

An angry voice cut through their connection. "What the hell?!"

Before Jim could even see Roy, he felt his large hands grip his shirt. Roy pinned Jim violently to the wall of the boat. Roy's face was contorted with rage. His arm came back to gain momentum to hit Jim with, but a set of hands grabbed on to his huge fist.

"Roy stop it!" Pam yelled, grabbing his arm and stepping between Roy and Jim.

Roy looked through Pam and pushed her aside effortlessly, causing her to lose her balance and fall to the ground.

Jim's face changed from fear quickly to concern. He made a motion to move towards Pam, but Roy immediately pushed him against the wall again.

"You don't touch her!" Roy commanded.

Pam, embarrassed, got to her feet and tucked her hair behind her ears.

Jim looked at her, "Are you okay?" He asked gently.

Pam nodded.

Roy had calmed down a little bit, but still had Jim pinned tightly to the wall. "How long has this been going on between you two?"

Pam shook her head, "Roy, it's not like that I swear. There is nothing going on between us! We were just hugging, we're friends."

Roy was comforted by these words, but he looked to Jim for confirmation.

"Roy, there really isn't anything going on."

Roy grudgingly let Jim go from the wall. "And you don't have any feelings for her Halpert?"

The irony of this question was not lost on Jim. He smiled a sad half smile, "It doesn't matter."

Roy advanced towards Jim, but stopped short of actually pinning him again. "It matters a hell of a lot to me Halpert!"

Jim looked back to Pam, who was scared to make eye contact with either one of the men.

Jim was prepared to ease Roy's temper with whatever it took to sooth the situation for everyone, but he couldn't let himself back down. He just kept thinking that this was the guy that Pam was going to spend the rest of her life with.

Jim shook his head, "She deserves more than you." Jim said softly, but not trying to hide it from anyone.

Roy stared at Jim. "What?" He asked angrily.

Jim advanced towards Roy, which actually made Roy take a step back. "You are the worst kind of person because you have something amazing and you don't even realize it. You push her aside and keep her down and you don't deserve her."

Roy didn't say anything. He didn't even look particularly angry, but his fist moved faster than Jim could react, and he hit Jim squarely on his eye, and Jim fell to the ground.

"Jim!" Pam shouted out, running over to him.

As the commotion continued, several people began to gather on the deck to see what was happening. Katie emerged through the small crowd, "What's going on?" She noticed Jim's slumped figure, gripping his face. "Jim!" She shrieked running to his side.

Pam, unwillingly let Katie comfort Jim and she stood up. Roy had left right after he punched Jim, so Pam left to find him.

She walked back into the party room of the boat. Roy was sitting in the now deserted back room. She walked angrily towards him.

As Pam was opening her mouth to let Roy have it, he cut her off.

"Pammy, don't say anything." His anger was completely deflated. "Do you know why I came looking for you?"

"No…" Pam said slowly, cautiously.

"I wanted to set a date." Roy said quietly.

"What?" Pam breathed, sitting down, across from him.

"I was talking to Captain Jack, and I just realized that I'm ready to get married."

Pam shook her head, "Roy, I don't know. Something changed inside me. I mean, seeing you hit Jim,"

Roy cut her off, anger sparking in his voice again, "Pam, he was making a move on you!"

Pam continued, not shaken by his outburst, "It's not about Jim though. I just, I can't be with someone that hits another person, especially a close friend of mine. I'm sorry Roy, but this is over." Pam was gentle, but firm.

Roy's eyes widened slightly, he had never heard Pam be so definitive. "But Pammy, I'm ready to have a future with you!"

Pam shook her head, "But Roy," She took one of his hands in hers, "I'm ready for you to be my past. We're just not right together. This relationship has become routine, and it shouldn't be like that."

Roy couldn't give it up this easily. "Pam!" His voice was pleading with her, "I'm ready to start a life with you!"

Pam gave him an ironic smile, "We're just not in the same place Roy."

"What do you mean?"

Pam shrugged, "You're ready for us to start, but I'm ready for us to end." Pam let go of Roy's hand and gave it a gentle pat. She stood up and walked away from Roy, never turning back.

Pam walked back to the deck, looking for Jim. She was surprised to find him sitting alone, his back against the railing of the boat. She figured he would still be crowded by their coworkers, specifically Michael.

She walked gently up to him, "How's the eye?"

Jim shrugged, "Which one?"

"What?" asked Pam.

"Katie got me pretty good in the other one when I broke up with her."

"You broke up with her?" Pam asked sitting down next to him.

Jim nodded, "Yeah, I probably should have waited till we got off the boat though. It makes it a little hard to escape."

"Yeah," Pam agreed. "I know what you mean?"

Jim looked at her and raised a curious eyebrow.

"I ended things with Roy. For real."

Jim's mouth hung open, "Wow, I didn't expect that."

"What?" Pam asked surprised, "He hit you! I couldn't stay with him." She paused, "Listen, I just wanted to say 'thanks' for, I don't know, defending my honor I guess. It was really nice to hear you say those things."

"Well, it was easy. I meant them all." Jim cleared his throat. "Are you sure you guys are done for good?"

"Yeah," Pam nodded definitively, "It wasn't just because of tonight. We're just not right together, ya know?"

Jim smiled, "Yeah, I know."

Pam smiled back at him and sighed. "I just want to crawl into bed and get off this damn boat!"

Jim laughed, "Yeah, a booze cruise in January was definitely not one of Michael's best ideas."

Pam laughed and rested her head on Jim's shoulder. Jim smiled at her, and then lost his smile in his thoughts. After a brief moment of silence, he spoke up. "Pam?"

Her eyes were closed, "Hmm?"

"Well," Jim said as he swallowed, "I was just wondering, if this changes anything. I mean you breaking up with Roy."

Pam lifted her head and stared at Jim. "Yes." She said simply. She was tired of goose stepping around her feelings, and she was too emotionally exhausted to weave through half truths and her mixed feelings.

This simple answer caught Jim off guard, "What?"

"This changes things." She added.

"Uh, well, how?" Jim asked, his hopes beginning to rise.

Pam sighed deeply and bit her bottom lip. "I don't really know to be honest."

Jim furrowed his brow, trying to think of an appropriate thing to say. "Okay…"

Pam spoke up, wanting to ease his confusion, "Jim, you are the best guy and truthfully, nothing makes me happier that we are both unattached. But, I just got out of a nine year relationship, so I can't really think about what this means because I need some time to get used to that being over. It's like you said," Pam smiled, mocking Jim, "I'm amazing, and I think I could use a little time to hang out with myself, seeing as I'm so great."

Jim smiled, "That's true. I understand that."

Pam, seeing that Jim was slightly crestfallen touched his shoulder gently, "Hey." She said softly. He looked at her and she spoke softly. "It really does change things though." Pam leaned in and kissed Jim very gently on the mouth.

Jim was surprised, but quickly embraced her and the kiss deepened slightly. When the broke apart they were both grinning. "I thought you needed time to get used to being single." Jim said slowly.

"I do," Pam said, "And one of the best things about being single is you can kiss anybody you want to."

"So," Jim said slowly, "does changing things from how they were mean we're going to do that more?"

Pam smiled and laughed, "Definitely" she said, her eyes glowing.

Jim smiled, "I always liked change."

Pam laughed as he leaned in again to give her another kiss.

Okay, so I'm running out of what if ideas! Please review and leave me some ideas because I don't want the story to end yet. I'm thinking about doing a couple future chapters…but I don't know if that really fits in the story.


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